Lessons Learned from an Impotent Friend: Three Easy Steps to a Raise
Simpson Thacher has raised the bar. The firm’s executive committee chairman Philip "Pete" Ruegger III sent an email announcing an increase in first-year associate base salaries to $160,000, second-year salaries to $170,000 and so on and so forth and so on. It’s a $15,000 bump from the $145,000 first-year base salary set by Sullivan & Cromwell last year and followed in lemming-like fashion by other New York firms.
[Source: WSJ.com Law Blog, January 22, 2007]
It's about time our salaries were raised. What's the point of billing 75 hour weeks, if during those 10 minutes when we're off there's no money to spend!? Simpson's raise makes perfect sense. Not that the amount of the raise will make much of a difference. But nevermind that. That's a story for another time. I learned my lesson from an impotent friend. Any upward move is good.
For some confusing reason, the firm I work for has not yet raised the bar itself. Perhaps they simply haven't yet heard of Simpson Thacher's raise. If, like me, you are still waiting for your firm to up your salaries, I suggest resorting to the following tactics:
1. The Public Service Email: as a public service, I suggest sending a firm-wide email, associates, counsel and partners included, notifying them of Simpson Thacher's raise. Try not to embarrass the partners on the email with a comment like "Hopefully, our partners will be just as smart as Simpson Thacher's and will raise the bar too." This will only serve to put them on the defensive.
2. The Subtle Method: if the public service email goes unacknowledged, and if you still have your job, then I suggest another idea. Time your Microsoft Outlook to send out additional public service announcements every 20 minutes. This time, however, make sure to focus your email on a select group of partners who sit on the associate compensation committee. 3 emails per hour should be tolerable for them. In fact, the partners may even thank you for bringing this matter to their attention and for making sure they don't forget. I don’t think they'll find this irritating at all. After all, 3 times per hour means approximately 33 times a day. This should be perfectly fine.
3. The Not So Subtle Method: if The Subtle Method fails to work and you haven't yet been escorted out of the office by your building's security, then I suggest this final idea. Clearly, the partners in your firm do not appreciate subtlety. Thus, I recommend storming into one of the partner luncheons taking place in your firm, taking over the microphone and refusing to hand back the mike until your demands are met and the partners agree to follow in Simpson's footsteps. Trust me, partners will agree to anything to get back the mike and hear themselves speak!
Caution: obviously, if you decide to follow the abovementioned advice, please be aware that I take absolutely no responsibility for any liability or adverse consequences that you may suffer. In other words, you are all alone. Good luck!
His Serene Highness,
The Magnificent D
[Source: WSJ.com Law Blog, January 22, 2007]
It's about time our salaries were raised. What's the point of billing 75 hour weeks, if during those 10 minutes when we're off there's no money to spend!? Simpson's raise makes perfect sense. Not that the amount of the raise will make much of a difference. But nevermind that. That's a story for another time. I learned my lesson from an impotent friend. Any upward move is good.
For some confusing reason, the firm I work for has not yet raised the bar itself. Perhaps they simply haven't yet heard of Simpson Thacher's raise. If, like me, you are still waiting for your firm to up your salaries, I suggest resorting to the following tactics:
1. The Public Service Email: as a public service, I suggest sending a firm-wide email, associates, counsel and partners included, notifying them of Simpson Thacher's raise. Try not to embarrass the partners on the email with a comment like "Hopefully, our partners will be just as smart as Simpson Thacher's and will raise the bar too." This will only serve to put them on the defensive.
2. The Subtle Method: if the public service email goes unacknowledged, and if you still have your job, then I suggest another idea. Time your Microsoft Outlook to send out additional public service announcements every 20 minutes. This time, however, make sure to focus your email on a select group of partners who sit on the associate compensation committee. 3 emails per hour should be tolerable for them. In fact, the partners may even thank you for bringing this matter to their attention and for making sure they don't forget. I don’t think they'll find this irritating at all. After all, 3 times per hour means approximately 33 times a day. This should be perfectly fine.
3. The Not So Subtle Method: if The Subtle Method fails to work and you haven't yet been escorted out of the office by your building's security, then I suggest this final idea. Clearly, the partners in your firm do not appreciate subtlety. Thus, I recommend storming into one of the partner luncheons taking place in your firm, taking over the microphone and refusing to hand back the mike until your demands are met and the partners agree to follow in Simpson's footsteps. Trust me, partners will agree to anything to get back the mike and hear themselves speak!
Caution: obviously, if you decide to follow the abovementioned advice, please be aware that I take absolutely no responsibility for any liability or adverse consequences that you may suffer. In other words, you are all alone. Good luck!
His Serene Highness,
The Magnificent D
posted by The Magnificent D at 12:06 PM
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