Blog Writer's Block
No one, it seems, has any patience with a blogger's BWB, or blog writer's block. Sure, we've all heard of writer's block. Not only have we heard of it, we sympathize with it. "Poor author so and so," you can hear some people say, "he or she had to stop writing for a while because of writer's block...". For effect, this is said with the compassionate tone regularly reserved to describe someone else's terrible disease.
No such compassion, however, is shown the blogger suffering of BWB. "What could he be blocked about?," people have the nerve to ask. "For goodness' sake, he's supposed to be writing about his day's events! How could he blocked?! All he needs to do to cure this is step outside, buy some fruit, and voilà, he can blog about having bought some fruit!"
Well, to all smart alecs and wise asses out there, I say: Would that it were that simple! As evidence that affliction with BWB usually conceals more than meets the eye, I am hereby providing you with two real life examples of friends who have suffered from this condition.
SALLY
Consider the case of poor Sally. A New Hampshire-born beauty, Sally is blond and blue-eyed, and carries herself with the grace of a ballerina. Each day at 5 pm, like clockwork, she would post a new story on her blog, http://www.blogger.com/www.sallyactuallyhatesharry.blogspot.com. This practice lasted years. That is, until BWB came knocking on her door.
A few years ago, she converted to Islam and changed her name to Ali Jamin Mustaffa. Nothing wrong with that, though to me she would always remain the same Sally. The day she stopped blogging, she had just left for Mecca to participate in the Hajj. No sooner had she landed in Saudi Arabia than the crowd--suspicious of her looks--instantly accused her of being an American harlot! She was transferred to Riyadh, where she remained locked up for three months in a tiny jail cell. Thanks to the intervention of the local US ambassador, she was finally freed.
Sally is back now and is blogging as usual. But she has changed. She will forever remain haunted by memories of those long months in jail, when she was blocked from posting cell stories on her blog. BWB.
ANTHONY
Being the creature of habit that he is, Anthony begins his mornings by ordering a venti skimmed gingerbread machiavelli putanesca, with whipped cream, at his neighborhood Starbucks. Two weeks ago, Anthony specifically asked the barista to prepare his drink without whipped cream. For some reason, the whipped cream was added anyway. Furious, Anthony stormed out of the store, but not before telling the barista he was a "f***ing, genitalia pierced, drug addict and a moron to boot." Anthony headed straight home. Two hours later, a full report of his Starbucks experience could be found on his blog, www.thenonvenomoussnake.blogspot.com.
Word about the blog reached the barista, who, after reading the humiliating report, promptly called his uncle in Trinidad and asked to have a hex imposed on Anthony. The uncle complied and declared "Of a twisted tongue the blogger shall suffer, until strong remorse the defiler shall utter!"
The next day, Anthony participated in the annual rapid speaking competition (RSC), where the competitors were asked to repeat as often as possible the line "blog writer's block, blocks the blogger's blog." Though Anthony has held the RSC's national championship title for the past five years, he could hardly complete the sentence once. Later that day, he even struggled to order his regular venti skimmed gingerbread machiavelli putanesca, and the realization that he was a victim of BWB descended heavily upon him. It was only through the direct intervention of Starbucks' Seattle head office that the barista reluctantly agreed to have his uncle remove the hex.
***
I should hope you will now think twice before making light of an acquaintance's blog writer's block!
His Serene Highness,
The Magnificent D
No such compassion, however, is shown the blogger suffering of BWB. "What could he be blocked about?," people have the nerve to ask. "For goodness' sake, he's supposed to be writing about his day's events! How could he blocked?! All he needs to do to cure this is step outside, buy some fruit, and voilà, he can blog about having bought some fruit!"
Well, to all smart alecs and wise asses out there, I say: Would that it were that simple! As evidence that affliction with BWB usually conceals more than meets the eye, I am hereby providing you with two real life examples of friends who have suffered from this condition.
SALLY
Consider the case of poor Sally. A New Hampshire-born beauty, Sally is blond and blue-eyed, and carries herself with the grace of a ballerina. Each day at 5 pm, like clockwork, she would post a new story on her blog, http://www.blogger.com/www.sallyactuallyhatesharry.blogspot.com. This practice lasted years. That is, until BWB came knocking on her door.
A few years ago, she converted to Islam and changed her name to Ali Jamin Mustaffa. Nothing wrong with that, though to me she would always remain the same Sally. The day she stopped blogging, she had just left for Mecca to participate in the Hajj. No sooner had she landed in Saudi Arabia than the crowd--suspicious of her looks--instantly accused her of being an American harlot! She was transferred to Riyadh, where she remained locked up for three months in a tiny jail cell. Thanks to the intervention of the local US ambassador, she was finally freed.
Sally is back now and is blogging as usual. But she has changed. She will forever remain haunted by memories of those long months in jail, when she was blocked from posting cell stories on her blog. BWB.
ANTHONY
Being the creature of habit that he is, Anthony begins his mornings by ordering a venti skimmed gingerbread machiavelli putanesca, with whipped cream, at his neighborhood Starbucks. Two weeks ago, Anthony specifically asked the barista to prepare his drink without whipped cream. For some reason, the whipped cream was added anyway. Furious, Anthony stormed out of the store, but not before telling the barista he was a "f***ing, genitalia pierced, drug addict and a moron to boot." Anthony headed straight home. Two hours later, a full report of his Starbucks experience could be found on his blog, www.thenonvenomoussnake.blogspot.com.
Word about the blog reached the barista, who, after reading the humiliating report, promptly called his uncle in Trinidad and asked to have a hex imposed on Anthony. The uncle complied and declared "Of a twisted tongue the blogger shall suffer, until strong remorse the defiler shall utter!"
The next day, Anthony participated in the annual rapid speaking competition (RSC), where the competitors were asked to repeat as often as possible the line "blog writer's block, blocks the blogger's blog." Though Anthony has held the RSC's national championship title for the past five years, he could hardly complete the sentence once. Later that day, he even struggled to order his regular venti skimmed gingerbread machiavelli putanesca, and the realization that he was a victim of BWB descended heavily upon him. It was only through the direct intervention of Starbucks' Seattle head office that the barista reluctantly agreed to have his uncle remove the hex.
***
I should hope you will now think twice before making light of an acquaintance's blog writer's block!
His Serene Highness,
The Magnificent D
posted by The Magnificent D at 9:18 PM
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